Teaching Me Lessons Through Her Last Breath

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,^[a] take up his cross, and follow me.” Mt 16:24

“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church,…” Col 1:24

Dad gave me my head. Mom gave me my heart.

I was fortunate. I was the oldest of my siblings so I got to know her the longest. I didn’t get to know her the best, because I left home at age 19 to work for Uncle Sam. I moved my family up and down the East Coast through my Navy career then settled in the Orlando FL area. It gave me an advantage though. Mom and I both like to write and though we were 1100 miles apart we spoke often and wrote frequently.

At home, growing up, she taught us all to sing. She showed us how “she who sings prays twice”, encouraging us by her example to sing often and especially in church. I followed her example by taking my voice and my guitar to the Navy with me and supporting Sunday services at sea. She also ‘defended’ me. Maybe Dad was a bit more difficult a disciplinarian on a seven-year-old than she thought he should be. And when I took it upon myself to smear Testor’s model glue all over a project that was supposed to be a father-‘son’ effort, she interceded before he saw the project, and he was all complimentary about it. These are small events I remember from my youth.

Her final lesson was exercised these past several years and in particular, the last 14 weeks of her life. Fiercely independent, she refused to let any of us help her or take her into our homes. Her experiences with her grandmother and mother, her nursing of Dad through his heart attacks and other health issues reinforced her desire ‘not to burden’ any of us. She was so vehement about it several of us had strong arguments and even fights over why she would not let us help.

Bronchitis was a semi-annual ‘companion’ for her and at this past Thanksgiving she was fighting it. Being in Orlando I didn’t see the continuity, and Mom fought my sisters caring for her saying she was ‘FINE’. Seeing the doctor in December and again in late January, she’d come away with some relief, but not recovery. Also, in recent years, she suffered from crumbling vertebrae’s giving her constant pain. She moved with a walker these past two years, and still refused any hospitality at our homes more than dinner and a day with the family.

I phoned her in the middle of February. She was coughing and sputtering and unable to speak well because of it. She was using her C-PAP constantly. I hung up with her and phoned my sisters, who said they’d talked with her and an appointment was set up with the doctor. The doctor gave some pain relief and Mom went home. A few days later she was taken to the ER. This was a Thursday. She was admitted and went to the med-surg floor, and because she needed forced air to breathe, to the ICU by mid-day Friday. On Saturday, she got the review of her testing from the doctor; Another crumbled vertebrae, a broken rib from trying to carry gallons of water in with groceries, pneumonia trapped in the lungs beneath the pressing rib, and worn and crushed trachea cartilage from coughing so hard for twelve weeks. She’d worn herself down to were she couldn’t breath well without help.

“I guess there’s only one thing left to do, then,” she said when the doctor finished. Saturday afternoon she opted for Hospice care. She visited with many of the families and her two brothers on Sunday. The pain meds that eased the back and rib pain became strong enough to let her breathe more comfortably, but also had her sleeping most of the time. Monday evening, after we all dozed off, Mom left us.

I offered two Christian scriptures to open this essay. How easily do those who know these scriptures simply pass on ‘a cross’ as a difficult moment’ or ‘a short term challenge’? I mean, what is it actually Jesus was asking us to do by urging us to pick up our ‘cross’? And Paul’s comment has confused theologians for centuries, let alone the rank and file of Christians through two millennia. If Christ’s suffering saved us from sin and death with his perfect sacrifice of self, then what possibly could we add to it from our own sufferings?

This is what Mom showed me. And it began before her physical and emotional pains grew to the levels of the last several months. She chose to offer her sufferings for her family, that none would be lost from the salvation of Christ. Her cross, at least one of them, was to suffer for her domestic church, to suffer her pains for each of the 130+ of us in our family, and the broader family of the community she was part of. It was not a decision taken lightly. It was a decision made years ago. It was part of her own coming to know Jesus when Bishop Fulton Sheen was teaching in his 1950’s radio addresses from NYC.

He told of a man shouting and cursing in agony in a hospital. The Bishop was visiting several people and this man was particularly difficult for the staff to care for. The Bishop walked into the room, told the man of a child at the hospital who was near death, and would the man consider offering his pain for the child’s well being, physically and spiritually. The man was silent and cooperative from then on, until his death a few days later. The child recovered. Mom knew this story well.

Mom taught me how to die in her last hours. Not just how to die, but how to die in peace while suffering the debilitating pain of a body that had simply worn out. Her comment to the doctor, “I guess there’s only one thing left to do, then,” so matter-of-fact, so routine, leaves me stunned and speechless still. Reading other theologians, re-reading the Christian scriptures, talking and writing with Mom… none of this prepared me for ‘how’ to carry my own cross and offer my suffering for the Church. Mom showed me what these lessons mean. Mom showed me ‘how’.

Jesus gave us the opportunity for everlasting life. He also gave us the instructions about how to suffer. The Hebrew scriptures, notably Psalm 23 and “…walk(ing) in the valley of the shadow of death…” also prepare God’s people. I cannot point to a similar text in the Qur’an, though as an Abrahamic religion I’m confident there are similar texts. God also gave this inspiration to the Buddhists through the Four Nobel Truths and the Eightfold Path. We have the instruction, the inspiration, and the encouragement to suffer well whatever our individual crosses are.

The question remains, then, for you to answer; “Do you have the Will to do so?”

Mom showed me it is possible.

May you find peace and grace, and courage and fortitude, as you ponder the question for yourselves.

https://www.kirkpatrickbehnke.com/obituary/Margaret-Zoll

Virtue – Not Lost, Just Not Visited Recently

Be one of the few that are chosen, rather than just one of the many who are called. Everyone is called. Not all answer. Of those answering, will you be one who is prepared? This crosses many social boundaries and is an effort to begin(?) erasing recent obstacles.

If we want a truly Just society, then we must replace the arguments we currently use by replacing the social focus of ANY supremacy concepts tied to race and ANY action programs with those based on ancient concepts of human dignity based on Virtue. 

            It is difficult to navigate what may be termed as ‘social justice’ in any society from the dawn of time.  Ours is just one in millions of peoples throughout history to struggle with equitable treatment of ourselves and others.  What makes our struggle unique is the communication abilities of our technologies.  These make us a more homogenous society and at the same time the diversity of philosophies available to practice.

            What we have done most recently is to handicap ourselves.  First, we revise and update our social experiments with newer and unproven ideas, then complicate our actions in two ways; we throw out the ancient guidance and we throw in (whether planned or of natural diversity or both) divisions that have nothing to do with the goal of a just society.

            Relative morality is persistent and prevalent obstacle to Justice.  We cannot find ourselves in harmony with others if we have differing concepts of what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’.  Our sustaining religious and government philosophies, particularly in Western society have been severely tested by this obstacle in recent decades.  It is an ancient foe that arises every time we abandon what has sustained us.

            Racism seems a modern problem, yet history simply is a battle between races of peoples and their religious and social patterns extending back through time.  Recent efforts to combine Relative morality and Racism have come to be known as ‘white privilege’ and ‘DEI’.  These are insulting to our personal and collective reasoning.

            I invite you to continue reading to demonstrate this insult to our collective work towards a just society.  There is no reference to skin color or race where pigmentation may be obscure, in these short descriptions, nor in the longer details of the references offered. 

             I emphasize this essay by repeating; If we want a truly Just society, then we must replace the arguments we currently use by replacing the social focus of ANY supremacy concepts tied to race and ANY action programs with those based on ancient concepts of human dignity based on Virtue.  I pray you will join me in this effort to reset the collective Conscience by resetting your own, and by sharing what you learn with those closest to you.

Virtue (Greek -aretê; happiness (eudaimonia)  Latin – virtus; (courage).)

– Most ancient philosophers, however, argue that human excellence must include the moral virtues and that the excellent human will be, above all, courageous, moderate, and just. (circa 300 B.C.)

-Signifies ‘man’ whose chief quality is fortitude [Cicero] (circa 50 B.C.)

– “Virtue”, says St. Augustine, “is a good habit consonant with our nature.” (Catholic Encyclopedia; NewAdvent.org)  (circa 400 A.D.)

“an operative habit essentially good,”… “it disposes it to good acts, i.e. acts in consonance with right reason”(St. Thomas Aquinas, circa 1200 A.D)

A parallel culture through this period professes similar concepts.  See the Judeo-Christian Wisdom Books of their scriptures.  Similar concepts exist in Islam, Buddhism, and Hinduism)

Intellectual Virtue

Prudence

– the ‘chariot’ of virtues.  Considered to be an art, the practice of all, the desire to act with virtue/courage and therefore the foundation of moral virtues.  It is the mindset, the Will establishing the desired character for the soul of the individual therefore the intent of actions taken.

Moral Virtues

Justice

– the practice of rendering each their due.  This virtue requires balance between the ‘good’ for the individual vs the ‘good’ for the community.  This practice requires both the individual and the community to control sensible appetites/desires.  Guidance for acting justly is found in religious practices, conforming the person to God; communal practices of piety with respects to parents, family, and the broader communal laws; gratitude for the receipt of moral action and material goods; restraint of sensible desires and the ability to adapt to given situations.

Fortitude

-that which removes and/or overcomes obstacles to right action when tested against spiritual and sensible challenges.  It sustains those moral guides chosen through Prudence, defending and promoting the ‘good’ as reasoned in the Will.  Patience is the foundation of Fortitude.  Recognizing challenges and taking time to consider what is ‘right action’ requires a finite amount of time (seconds through years).  Fiscal skill and practice, called Munificence is key.  How much and how long will one fund one’s activities toward determined goals.  Magnanimity, appealing to the ‘greater good’ as determined by the reasoned guidelines of Justice is a component of Fortitude.  Then, Perseverance; that determination to continue past the questions and the obstacles to achieve that ‘greater good’ is the discipline needed to see it through.

Temperance

-“all things in moderation”; control of the sensible appetites for the ‘good’ of the person.  An act of Will to maintain the balance of body, mind, and soul in the participation of mental and material interaction.  “We become the stories we read” is a common phrase for what we take into our minds through the books we read, the information we listen to, the movies we watch, and the activities we engage in.  Abstinence, sobriety, and chastity are tools of Temperance, as are scholarship, humility, meekness (discipline) and modesty.

For a more detailed introspection and further formation of your own Prudence, I encourage you to spend time in any or all of the following. I encourage you further, be one of the few that are chosen, rather than just one of the many that are called.

• “Ancient Ethical Theory”.  Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy; https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/ethics-ancient/
• “Virtue”.  Catholic Encyclopedia; NewAdvent.org; https://www.newadvent.org/cathen/15472a.htm
• “The Virtues.” Catechism of the Catholic Church; Part III Life in Christ, Art.7; https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P64.HTM  (always click on ‘NEXT’ to advance the page through the outline)

Rudder, Hull, and Sails; A Sailor’s Character Reflected

I’m writing between Christmas and the mark of the New Year.  It’s relatively quiet.  Decorating is mostly finished.  The usual ‘tinkering’ continues; more a Nativity figure, adjust a tree decoration, fiddle with the train set.  I can begin planning the repairs on my sailboat in earnest.

First on the list is the tiller and rudder.  The steering gear condition is critical for any vessel.  The sails drive the boat, but the steering gear makes for safer passage.  It is the working ‘will’ of the boat, like the conscience of a person’s mind.  Properly maintained and managed the course each steers for the boat and for one’s life makes for characteristic smooth sailing.

The keel bolt that came out has to be replaced.  The keel counter-balances the force on the sail to keep the boat upright in most sea states. Five hundred pounds of lead weight, it is as the core belief of one’s soul.  Without it, the boat would drift off course under any wind condition and when a blow comes along the boat, as the soul, would founder.

The sails let me harness the wind.  They are old.  There are some small tears, some signs of wear.  I can patch them still and they will do the job of harnessing the wind.  They require constant attention, constant trimming when deployed and routine maintenance when stowed.  Every decision makes a small yet significant adjustment to the exercise of character of the journey.

The hull requires paint.  What decades old vessel doesn’t require physical maintenance to keep a body sound?  Life at sea,…life anywhere, creates wear and tear.  Sometimes a complete overhaul is necessary to protect the fiberglass, the wood trim, the lines and the ground tackle (anchor and chain). Caring for one’s body is as important as the mind.

It’s no wonder to me that Jesus was a sailor.  Yes, we know as the son of Joseph he was taught carpentry and craftsmanship. Likely, he worked with Joseph helping to build the Roman town of Sephora near their Nazareth home.  There is, though, a Jewish tradition that those fishermen down in Capernaum were extended family and as boats were made of wood it makes some sense that carpentry skills were useful to fishermen.  Keeping up one boat is constant enough work.  Keeping up Peter’s boat, Zebedee’s boat (James and John), and others on the Capernaum waterfront would have been a full time job, one that would keep a body, mind, and spirit, the soul of a man, in constant employ.  After all, what did Jesus do up to the time he became a full time preacher?  And what lessons are there for life in maintaining a fleet of fishing boats?

Christmas and the New Year give me pause to look at what need to fix-and-repair on my sailboat, Duc In Altum (Go Into the Deep).  Before I can splash her again, the liturgical calendar at Church will likely roll us past Christmas, through Lent and bring us to Easter.  While I’m repairing and up keeping, I’ll be working on my character to see what upkeep and repair it needs as well.  I can never work on the boat without reminding myself what this ‘vessel’ needs.

Life and Law: Why Philosophy Matters in Daily Life

Not mentioned nearly as frequently in this election process as in the last two was the effects the candidates would likely have on the make-up of the Supreme Court.  This is an excerpt from an article in the National Catholic Register by George V. Bradley, a Law Professor at Notre Dame University.  This portion describes his view of how the Courts will shape law and create a foundation for how and what we consider fundamental to human existence, whether we live by faith and reason or by the whim of each acting according to what is right in their own eyes.  The full article is available at this url:

https://www.ncregister.com/commentaries/what-judges-to-expect-from-trump-this-round

Now we are at an inflection point, a crossroads, in constitutional law. Federal judges will now be making some fateful choices across a range of issues at the foundation of our common life. Allof these choices include but also transcend conventional legal analysis. 

Proper resolution of these issues, even as strictly legal matters, will require judges to get out of their comfort zone, to ask and answer fundamental questions about the human person, about human well-being and about justice. The answers to these questions lie at the edge of or simply beyond ordinary legal analysis. They nonetheless constitute the backbone of the law, its moral foundation, its animating spirit. 

Here are four of many possible examples of what I mean. 

One. I already mentioned that Dobbs is the turning point and not the terminal point of our constitutional battle for the lives of our unborn brothers and sisters. When the Supreme Court buried Roe it repudiated that decision’s treatment of unborn human beings as nonpersons. Henceforth, judges are called to affirm the right-to-life of the unborn, by and through recognizing them to be personslike you and me. Judges are being led to this conclusion by the Court’s opinion in Dobbs. But the truth about when people begin is needed to finally get the constitutional guarantee of equal legal protection right. That every one of us came to be at the moment of conception is a “value” judgment that some conservative judges have said is way beyond the competence of judges to affirm. Not so.

Two. Standing First Amendment free speech doctrines as they pertain to the scourge of pornography, are simply inept in our digital world. They need to be totally revamped. That rebuild will have to take frank stock of what healthy psycho-sexual development requires. This candid appraisal in turn requires necessarily includes morally normative thinking — what’s right and wrong — about sexual activity. Judges will have to enter this way of thinking to determine what is free — and not free — about pornographic “speech.”

Three. “Transgenderism” has spawned a host of legal problems and questions. These have to do with fair sporting competition, job discrimination, compelled usage of preferred pronouns, medical treatments of minors, access to sex-specific spaces (including prison cells) and military service. Sometimes these matters can be resolved in court by common patterns of legal reasoning. But not all of them can be and none of them can be all of the time. The metaphysical truth that no one is born in the wrong body — that each of us is indelibly male or female — is essential for getting these cases right. Judges will have to affirm that truth as the master principle in this area of constitutional law.

Four. Leave aside a trip into the weeds of our inherited church-state constitutional law. It is enough to say that, with the Court’s abandonment of its aggressively secularist doctrines about the Establishment Clause in a 2022 case about a public high-school football coach’s post-game prayer, the federal courts now must rebuild that crucial body of law from the ground up. History will inform their choices, as it should. But a sound understanding of what religion is, is about, its relationship to true moral norms, and of religion’s place in the common good of our society, will mightily shape where they take our law of religion and religious freedom next. The pending challenge to a Louisiana law requiring that public schools display of the Ten Commandments will force these questions upon the attention of our courts.

These concluding considerations point to the compelling need for an ever more discriminating vetting of potential judicial nominees, to see precisely if they understand what is at stake in these crucial cases, and what it will take to resolve them rightly.

• Keywords:
• president trump
• federal judges
• catholic supreme court justices

Gerard V. Bradley Gerard V. Bradley is a professor of law at the University of Notre Dame and was for many years president of the Fellowship of Catholic Scholars.

Responsible Citizenship: Of Freedom, Truth, Love the American Way

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. We hire people through our vote to protect our freedom. True freedom is the ability of each of us to choose the moral right of Truth and take action to live it in our lives. Those people we elect build staffs to review and study, then advise our representatives such that they may create our laws to permit these actions, as well as those to choose differently. The Law does not exist to force us to act against our free will. By Divine design we may act in any way we choose. Man’s Law is intended to restrict our actions in ways that would harm our social order. Ideally, Man’s law should follow Divine and natural law. Achieving that end with Prudence and Temperament is the purpose of a Constitutional Republic rather than a pure Democracy. A body of elected representatives deliberates over issues rather than an emotional mob affected by partial truths and fictions of advertising agencies (re: 2020 events in the U.S.) make studied choices.

Free Will is a choice of the heart, or Conscience, as one may call the ‘center’ of human behavior. That which is at our individual and consequently collective core is meant to allow us to follow Truth, and carry out action according to that which is. It is the work of the heart/Conscience/mind that is essential to defining who we are; again, individually and collectively. We cannot know what is in each others’ hearts until we observe the actions taken due to the choices we make. These observations become known as our character, something we don’t hear much discussion of these days.

Truth is always truth. Under any and every circumstance we know, both internally and by observation what is ‘truth’ and what is not. We may debate. We may argue. We may even agree. Or we fight. Truth remains true. We boldly define truth in the United States.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.“

The first truth; ‘self-evident’, i.e. It is natural law that informs us. It is inherent to our ‘being’ that we collectively acknowledge an influence greater than ourselves upon our Consciences.

The next truth; ‘that all men are created equal’, i.e. ‘men’ as in ‘mankind’, ‘humanity’. It is to twist the English language to say this excludes women. Racism is an aberration of this truth that is perpetually fought generation-to-generation. These distortions from various opponents to this truth are perpetuated by the ‘Fall’ of humans in their duties. All are created with equal dignity, free-will, and the responsibility to do with the talents they have to achieve what they are able.

Next, that there exists a Creator, a Prime-Mover of human-kind. This truth is acknowledge from the dawn of human awareness of self. It is chronicled by the ancient Greeks, and carried forth in Western society through to today by religions great and small. There are those that exercise their free-will and deny this truth. This denial does not make it any less true. The Declaration emphasizes this truth in the closing line, stating “…with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence…”.

These truths are ‘unalienable’. Truth cannot ” be estranged : to make unfriendly, hostile, or indifferent especially where attachment formerly existed (Merriam-Webster). Truth is true under any/all circumstances. It cannot be ‘my truth’ or ‘your truth’, it is ‘the’ truth. The philosophy of this age in particular of Relativism is a denial of responsibility to carry out actions according to Truth. This philosophy has been tested and continues to be tested by the overt flouting of civil and criminal laws meant to order our society towards the safety of us all in making choices to pursue actions coherent with our collective safety and success in building society; that ‘right’ we claim to ‘pursue happiness’. The right to ‘love’.

And what does it mean to ‘love’? Another key meaning so oft distorted in our time deserves attention. Again, returning to the Greek philosophy that is the foundation of our society, specifically to Aristotle. The choice of the heart/Conscience to ‘love’ is “to will the good of the other’. It is a definition echoed by Thomas Aquinas in the twelfth century, and by two Popes at the dawn of the twenty-first century, John Paul II and Francis. It is the message of the Abrahamic religions, most specifically the Christian Gospels. It is the action of truth written into two common guides of conduct; “Love your neighbor as yourself” and “Do unto others as you would have them do to you”.

This action of ‘love’ does not imply a ‘soft and sappy’ wonderment in life with no pain. It requires, as every parent knows, a component of ‘willing the good of the other’ through correction of action incongruent with the guides of conduct. Discipline is necessary. Assessment of action is an activity we all do daily to assure our own safety and those demonstrating character that is harmful to our common good must be addressed, corrected, and often appropriately disciplined.

Our nation is built upon unalienable rights drawn from ancient concepts recognized through Divine and natural laws. These rights are recognized in philosophies and religions around the globe. Our country was formed around the concept that Truth is knowable and actions to support this knowledge can be taken to form, conduct, and maintain the laws stemming from these truths. We select leadership to debate and monitor our laws, people capable of understanding the depths of meaning in the philosophy so the actions we are able to take may allow us to exercise our individual skills toward bringing these truths to our daily lives, “and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity,…”

Our individual vigilance is necessary to secure these truths. Our ‘eternal’ vigilance to stay informed concerning the activity of our elected representatives and the executives we ‘hire’ with our votes. This is the action of ‘heart’ we owe ourselves and each other. Another four-year election is complete. The work we are responsible for is perpetual. Eternal vigilance is the price of Freedom.

https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/declaration

https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/constitution

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alienate

What is a BRICS

BRICS
Brazil-Russia-India-China-South Africa

Founding country members of a new gold-based economic competitor to the G7 Euro-N American petro-dollar-based world economy.

Saudi Arabia did not renew the treaty for the dollar to be used as the sole oil purchase currency.

The loss of the prominence of the dollar in the world will cause fluxuations of value that will affect the prices of the food and goods we import for our kitchen tables and the gasoline for our cars/lithium for our batteries.

Where Do You Find Yourself in the Mix? The 2024 Election is Under Way

Couple of movies worth a laugh as the election approaches:
An American President, with Michael Douglas
Man of the Year, with Robin Williams
Dave, with Kevin Klein

Serious topics with all the humor needed to make it all terribly real.

The story of the land of Israel in the bible 1 & 2 Maccabees (apocryphal for Protestants) is one of complete dedication and sacrifice of the family of Maccabees. Not for glory or wealth did the family step forward, but for the safety and security of the land of Judean.

So it is in our country today. Whatever you believe, one candidate is sacrificing, per our own Declaration of Independence, life, fortune, and sacred honor.

Chose biblically, You of the Abrahamic religions.

And if not of Abrahamic or any other religion, the Maccabean story is worth some of your time. After all, it’s part of the whole Cleopatra/Mark Antony story and pertinent to our American experiment with a republican-democracy.

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/1maccabees/0

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/2maccabees/1

A Three-Ply Cord – Making and Keeping Covenant Marriage

A four-year project came to life yesterday when my Publisher, Dorrance Publishing, Pittsburg PA, delivered the first copy of my new book.

Covenant marriage is a sacrament, bringing a living witness to all who observe and creating a continuing foundation of ‘family’ to the Church.  This life-long effort has its challenges in every age.  “A Three-Ply Cord” represents both the three persons of man, woman, and God and the concepts of Covenant, Speaking Love, and Healing.  This second trio forms the core of this work, emphasizing the concepts of covenant commitment, speaking, and healing with scripture reflection to nurture within the husband and wife fundamental principles needed to hold them together for life.

The opening chapter introduces fundamental Christian disciplines of the Commandments, Virtues, and the Beatitudes.  These are the framework of Christian life, giving the individual guidance in the formation of their own conscience. Bringing a man and woman together in holy matrimony binds these two consciences together in Christ. Discussing these principles of formation is a reminder of the discipleship each has committed to in their formation.

The core of the book presents the concept of covenant verses contract marriage, where Covenant is a promise, giving one’s word that will not be broken. Covenant means giving 100% of one’s self for the other’s best interest and to the other. Speaking is presented as the creative divine power. Thoughts lead to ideas lead to the spoken word that creates the atmosphere about the lives of the two-as-one. What is spoken and how it is spoken nurtures the marriage or detracts from it. Speaking is the breath of love. And, because we are human, we will fail and we will hurt each other. Understanding that anything, ANYTHING can be forgiven and overcome, and every pain resolved is a fundamental concept. As Jesus forgave from the cross and resurrected, so too each must forgive the other and work toward a resurrection and continuation of the covenant of marriage.

The closing chapter presents the Nuptial Mass where the couple administer the Sacrament to each other in the context of the Church’s great communal prayer. The discussion focuses on how the wedding mass is the calling of family and friends to the Eucharistic altar for the public witness of the Sacrament of Marriage. Specific to this is the exchange of the wedding vows of free choice, faithful promise, fruitful expectations as in Genesis, and forever, emphasizing the recognition of the difficulties that ‘richer/poorer, sickness/health, til death’ will inevitably transpire and can be overcome.

“A Three-Ply Cord” is a suitable reference for couples through their life-long commitment, for parish leaders in assisting couples with formation for the Sacrament of Marriage as well as a tool for counseling, and for high school teachers and youth leaders when discussing the Sacrament with their youth/students.

Available for purchase from Dorrance Publishing: https://bookstore.dorrancepublishing.com/products/a-three-ply-cord-making-and-keeping-covenant-marriage?_pos=1&_psq=A+three+ply+cord&_ss=e&_v=1.0

Dorrance has completed the format availability. Hard back, soft cover, and e-book formats are available. (availability info edited for update 7/12/24).

Choose to Suffer… Before Suffering Comes

The following is based on a study of 2Corinthians 1: 3 – 11.  The prose is pulled from a theology study written on the topic of suffering.  St. Paul answers the question ‘Why is there pain and suffering in the world’ and gives us reason to embrace it rather than avoid it.  The Reader may find some understanding of the Christian efforts to establish hospitals and health care facilities as an outgrowth of this concept.

Maybe you’ve heard a Catholic say, about your pain, “Offer it up” ? Though it might seem a damning thing to say, it’s really a blessing.

The Father’s Encouragement Vs 3,4

            “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all encouragement, who encourages us in our every affliction, so that we may be able to encourage those who are in any affliction with the encouragement with which we ourselves are encouraged by God” (vs 3, 4)    

            We have a two-fold passing of love and grace as coined by the word ‘encouragement’.  We do not create encouragement in this form, God does.  This is in the fashion of the creation story.  God speaks and the world is created.  God speaks to make adam (mankind) in God’s image.  This continues for each person in his/her own being.  We are of a physical body, a mental thinking capacity (an awareness that is conscious mental activity of the mind as opposed to instinctual action) and working Conscience guiding the process and actions of the mind and physical body.  God provides the gifts we need to build the spirit of Conscience (virtues) and we are to pass these gifts along in the image and likeness of God. 

            Paul opens this letter in a different way than his others.  He opens this letter with a view on bearing heavy burdens.  He tells his readers we do not bear these burdens alone, but that we may receive divine assistance.  His telling of his own suffering is an opening to empathy with the Corinthians who are suffering.  Paul is reminding them of the presence of God with them as well as with himself in times of suffering.

God, encouraging us in our afflictions, is offering grace to strengthen our resolve to see the situation through.  Paul doesn’t write ‘the God who removes our every affliction’. Suffering is a part of being a human person, is a challenge to overcome like any other human challenge.  S/he who accepts the suffering is blessed by God, receives grace of perseverance and fortitude, and is better dispositioned to bear the burden of the affliction.  Being bearers of affliction and having conquered our own sufferings with this grace, we pass this perseverance and fortitude on to others in solidarity with them in their own suffering.  We become the Genesis gift intended by the Creator.  We become fruitful, multiplying the grace to bear afflictions, affirming the dignity of each person in their own suffering.

Christ’s suffering to the Father’s

            “For as Christ’s sufferings overflow to us, so through Christ does our encouragement also overflow.” (vs. 5)

            Paul takes for granted here that the pain of the passion and death suffered by Jesus falls into our lives as well.  How can he make this as a supposition unless he experienced it himself in his revelation meeting with Jesus as the risen Christ or was otherwise taught this as a fundamental of Christian faith by Ananias in Damascus. As Paul understands this, he understands it as a matter of truth and therefore joins it with grace received in the form of encouragement to strength and sustainment.  Suffering does exist.  If the Savior suffered, so must all suffer in this human life.  And, as the sufferings occur, so is the grace to endure those suffering flow out to us.  The two are a matched pair in the physical/spiritual world in which we move.

            There is a connection between us as members of the body of Christ, a connection that allows us to unite our suffering to the saving act of Jesus on the cross.  The body feels pain and the head recognizes the pain and works to relieve it.  The mind, the head of the body, knows how to endure the sufferings of life and can sustain the body through the same. 

Paul’s Suffering and His Offering of the Suffering

            “If we are afflicted, it is for your encouragement and salvation; if we are encouraged, it is for your encouragement, which enables you to endure the same sufferings that we suffer.” (vs. 6)

            Paul and Timothy are afflicted and the point of his telling them this is to build the connection with them of the sharing of sufferings.  He follows verse five by substituting himself and Timothy into the pattern.  As Christ suffered, so Paul and Timothy suffer, so the Corinthians suffer, so do all Christians in the Body of Christ suffer.  As Christ was encouraged in Gethsemane, so Christ encourages Paul and Timothy, so Paul affirms Christ encourages the Corinthians, so may we be affirmed we also receive Christ’s encouraging graces.   

            Paul points out it is not only encouragement that is rendered.  It is for our salvation we are afflicted.  It is in Luke’s account that Jesus is recorded saying “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me”(Lk 9:23).  Salvation requires us to follow Jesus’s example, accept suffering as part of our journey.  Each has his/her own cross, his/her own source of suffering to bear.  Each also has a responsibility to the others of the body, to be with them and share their sufferings.  Empathy, comfort, presence become the graces of virtue to help others through their pains.

            Pain and suffering are expected in life.  What is different for Christians is sharing that pain with others that we and they will be sustained physically, mentally, and spiritually.  We set examples for others in the body by how we suffer, and part of that example is the faith in and expectation of divine support.

Paul acknowledging the Corinthians’ suffering

            “Our hope for you is firm, for we know that as you share in the sufferings, you also share in the encouragement.” (vs 7)

            This verse appears to follow the theme of the Lucan quote above.  Paul continues his  thought of suffering as a consequence of committing to being part of the Body of Christ.  Here in 2Corintians, it shows early development of the concept of Christian baptism being a commitment to suffer the passion and death of Christ as a prerequisite to resurrection. This verse continues the same development toward the end goal of resurrection to new life in Christ.  Paul writes here about receiving grace for persistence in suffering.  His writing in Romans calls us to live as if we have already received the gift of resurrection.

            We are not alone in our suffering.  There are others who suffer in common and those who serve the suffering.  Even one who is isolated yet continues to live in faith is part of the body and may be assured of the prayers, empathy, and strength of grace provided by the Jesus, the head of the body, and Christians elsewhere praying for the sick and suffering.

The Core Lesson on Suffering

              “We do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction that came to us in the province of Asia: we were utterly weighted down beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life.  Indeed, we had accepted within ourselves the sentence of death, that we might trust not in ourselves but in God who raised the dead.  He rescued us from such great danger of death, and he will continue to rescue us; in him we have put our hope [that] he will also rescue us again,” (vs 8 – 10)

            Paul explains the process of suffering in verses (3) through (7).  It is a process Christians are baptized into, a process of taking the hurts and sorrows of life in stride with the excitements and joys.  Taking up one’s cross and following Jesus is a basic tenant of the new way.This is contrary to human instinct.  Shying away from pain, avoiding the annoyance of a minor headache or a bruised shin are routine.  Blocking psychological pain through pharmaceuticals, legal and illegal, are billion-dollar-a-year efforts.  Surgery, or avoiding it, presents necessary financial and physical/psychological considerations that may mean a minor adjustment in lifestyle, or it could mean a complete change in the same.  The Christian way taught by Jesus and here by Paul has us embrace these sufferings directly, contrary to human instinct.

            Paul begins here to state directly that his life was endangered earlier. “…we were utterly weighted down beyond our strength…”.  He and Timothy were at the point where they simply couldn’t take on additional pain.  What change was left to them?  Enough was enough. And yet they were asked, in some way, to carry more to the point where “…we despaired even of life…”.  Did they ask to be allowed to die?  What else could be meant by this phrase except they accepted they would suffer physical death?  Later in this same letter, Paul asks to be relieved of his pain.  His telling reflects Jesus’s own fervent prayer in Gethsemane, asking three times for relief and receiving the same answer the Master received from the Father.  “My grace is sufficient for you.” Just as Jesus gave himself over to the Father on the cross, so Paul describes how he and Timothy give themselves over to the will of the Father.

            It is not time for them to end their mission, though.  Paul describes a rescue from the predicament, grace given to relieve the suffering and restore them back to physical and mental health that they might continue their journey.  He recognizes through this effort that God’s grace continues to be with them in continued trials and by this understanding how God will bring them home through the final trial of suffering death, even as Jesus was brought home to heaven through the resurrection.

            Often in our society we see and hear of those at their wits end.  It was the same with Paul and Timothy in their story.  Circumstances of faith lead them to trust in God as their final choice, and God raised them from their despair to continue to serve him.  It is incumbent on the faithful to follow this example, to allow themselves to be rescued by God.  It is necessary to be open to the grace of physical, mental, and spiritual encouragement if one is to fully practice the Christian faith.

Mutual Support in Suffering

            “…as you help us with prayer, so that thanks may be given by many on our behalf for the gift granted us through the prayers of many.” (vs 11)

            All Christians are given this mission, to help others with prayer.  Our efforts to commune with God are to include petition for others’ relief.  The community shares in suffering as it shares in the relief of suffering through the resurrection.  It is an essential part of our lives to be Simon of Cyrene for each other, to help carry each other’s burdens.  Thankfulness and praise are returned to God when the relief is granted, and the suffering begins to heal.  The whole Church rejoices and praises God.

            I gain from this verse the sense of a soothing pool of healing perseverance is available to all the faithful.  Somehow, in the spiritual work of God each of us can contribute to this pool and draw from it as needed.  Some will draw little; others may draw much.  The pool will not go dry by the Creator’s design.  “As your help is in prayer” is a point of participation and contribution all persons may make. 

Summary 2Cor 1:1-11 Notations on Suffering

            I was struck by the appearance of a lesson on bearing suffering in the opening of the letter to second Corinthians.  I have suffered physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in my life.  I have observed the suffering of others.  I have not seen in any open dialogue more than simple platitudes comparable to today’s social media memes to explain, encourage, or teach us how to work with or live with pain.  Yet, I know people who have and still do suffer some levels of pain continuously in various ways.

            This introduction of Paul’s second letter to the Church in Corinth provides one lesson as I read it. We all suffer as I observe above.  Athletes will even prepare for their lives of competition with a mantra of ‘no pain, no gain’.  Here is the crux of Paul’s words. We live to accept and adjust to the pain we encounter with the same acceptance and in the same manner as we do our joys and successes. embracing it to find the limit to which we can continue their journey toward spiritual and heavenly excellence.  Athletes do no less, embracing the pain they chose in order to enjoy their successes. The Christian facing pain should be embracing it to the limits, with the sincere internal faith in the success of the resurrection to eternal life. 

            We do not suffer alone, any more than do we journey alone through life.  We are more than a community of like-minded souls.  We are the Body of Christ, where the head of the body knows the limits of its parts and works to provide strength to the parts when they are tested.  There is no reason to despair for life or limb, for mental sanity or spiritual fire.  The kingdom of heaven is at hand as we share in the healing power of Christ.

            So, at least, maybe skip that first inclination to grab an aspirin next time.  And at most, embrace the trial of serious illness as Christ embraced the cross.  In all cases, pray your pain is joined with that of Christ, offering your pain and suffering for the salvation of the world.  Let the Holy Spirit distribute it as mercy to others as God wills, trusting that same mercy will be given back to you as strength according to your needs.

Additional material on Suffering

St. Pope John Paul II. Salvifici Doloris. 1984 February 11. https://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/apost_letters/1984/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_11021984_salvifici-doloris.html

Hahn, S. Making Sense Out of Suffering. Podcast. https://stpaulcenter.com/audio/the-road-to-emmaus/making-sense-out-of-suffering/

Praying the AVE

Thoughts / Inspirations on the praying of the Ave Maria:

Hail Mary, full of grace

The Lord is with thee (you)

Blessed art thou among women

And blessed is the fruit of thy (your) womb,

JESUS

Holy Mary, Mother of God

Pray for us sinners now,

And at the hour of our death.

Amen

            The impetus for this contemplation follows a silent prayer for understanding as my praying of the Rosary became rote and then inconsistent following two years of dedication to the daily practice of the ritual.  Words became only words with less and less meaning and intent.  The following is the ‘inspiration’ received in response to my prayer.

            It is Jewish practice that the name of God is not spoken, sung, or displayed without proper authority and reverence.  The letters YHWH in Hebrew are not used and so strong is this ‘fear of the Lord’ that Catholic musicians and Liturgists were asked some decades past to replace the Jewish name of God retroactively in the lyrics and prayers at Mass.  It is in keeping with this understanding of the power of invoking the name of God and the respect for the Creator’s power that is central to this sense, this inspiration I have come to understand.

            First, remembering the AVE begins with a quote from scripture (Lk 1:28, 42) is important.  Though it is Mary being addressed, the scripture immediately preceded the invocation of the name of God in the Person of Jesus.  Like a pyramid, the prayer rises from earthly beings to heaven and climaxes in calling on Jesus, the Christ. Having dared call the name of God, the prayer immediately falls back to Mary for protection.  Who dares call out the name of God without fearing for their life? What if, through invoking the name one is immediately confronted with a response?  Can one ‘BE’ in the presence of God without His grace and live?  Some few saints are recorded as having done so.  Not may, though some have.

            So it follows that having invoked the name of Jesus, the AVE immediately steps back down from the pinnacle, invoking the intercession of Mary to pray for us who stand so before the Lord.  This is cause for a pause, praying for her intercession immediately, ‘now’, because it may be the hour of our death, and receiving mercy to continue the mortal life, rather than the mercy of ascendance into heaven at having done so, asks for the intercession of mercy when that moment comes. “Mary, please present me to your Son and the Father, through the Spirit at the moment of my death?”

            And so we pray, though a simple prayer, with greater understanding;

                    Hail Mary,                                   …a greeting

                    Full of grace                                …surrounded, protected and of God

                    The Lord is with you                    …mother of our great God and King,

                    Blessed are you among women   …asked and accepting of holy duty

                    And blessed is the fruit of your womb

                    JESUS                                         …the invocation of the name of God

                    Holy Mary, mother of God          …Knowing the Angel’s call above

                    Pray for us sinners now              …asking for grace in this encounter

                    And at the hour of our death       …asking for grace at death’s coming

                    Amen                                           …in full faith-filled acceptance